Today the lovely Casey Wiegand is sharing from her heart about coping with loss through miscarriage. As a woman who hasn't yet experienced motherhood, this is a topic that feels so far outside of my ability to conceptualize, but I know it's something that so many women have gone through, including some of my dear friends. Casey has talked about it on her blog, and I'm super thankful she's offered to share her story here. With Mother's Day being this past Sunday, I know it can be a painful time for those mothers who have experienced the loss of a miscarriage. You're not alone.
You can love differently. Better.
Because you know it's fragile.
Life. It's a gift.
A gift to be cherished, celebrated, adored
5 little "A's" still hang from my husband's necklace. A daily reminder that we have 5 precious babies.
Two who didn't walk here along side of me, but those two that forever changed my life.
A brief life yet so much meaning.
I often get asked about how my pregnancy with Apple was after our first loss. It was terrifying, it was different. With my first two kiddos I had a clueless confidence, I didn't realize the fragility of what I had...how it could be gone in an instant with no warning signs. I was glowing and beaming and never for a second thought about anything going wrong before our loss. But with Apple, I carried that. Every sonogram my knees shook in the waiting room, my prayers poured out at night to protect her and keep her with us. I fought fear until the moment she was in my arms.
Not only was Apple our rainbow baby but also a sweet symbol of Hope for me.
A new humility and sensitivity entered my spirit when it came to this subject. As someone before who hadn't known the struggles of infertility or loss- I didn't notice what I notice now.
"If you haven't already gathered, or happen to be reading this blog for the first time in your life, I am a melancholy girl through and through. I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that?" - Leslie from Top of the Page
The thing about heartache is...it changes your perspective on life.
It makes you softer (if you let it), it makes you more understanding (if you let it), it makes you love bigger and makes you more available to relate to others who share in hurt.
I will forever be changed by loss.